Academic Sh*t: Consequences


Yesterday was a very tough day.

It was on that day when I realized I scrambled my priorities. I thought that I will be able to maintain my social interaction, but the traffic jam of academic papers and exams swayed me far from normal. I felt so ashamed of myself, contemplating on the unforeseen what-ifs.

What if I studied a week ago? What if I created this problem set last Friday? What if I saved money? What if I went to the trip I have already paid? What if I had discipline?

If only I did all these things, my student life won’t be a hodgepodge. I want to make things right. Life is a chance to grow a soul. It’s just a chance. Missing it would cause misery.

However, reviewing  the old self, it seemed that I’m not a weed anymore. I’m just submerged in a more challenging depth of life. I guess I have to swim all the way down to find that pearl of success. I now know. I need air to accomplish the task, to achieve the best of life even if it’s not the best life.

Self-realizations. Oh come on.

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